Drowning
by Her Owlness
Summary: As Diana is in Bermuda with her friends Brian and Liz, she slowly begins to remember her life. Will she be able to resume her life with Luis? Features lyrics from "Drowning" by the Backstreet Boys.


Note: Lyrics are from "Drowning" by the Backstreet Boys

Don't pretend you're sorry  
You know you're not  
You know you've got the power  
To make me weak inside

"So, Diana," he says, flashing me what I suppose must be his attempt at a sexy grin, "whaddya say we head out for a picnic on Lover's Leap?"

Brian is a nice enough guy, I suppose. And I really do like him—just not in the way he wants me to.

Yes, my true love is dead, but I don't love Brian. I can't love him. There's something from my past that just won't let me love him.

Who am I? Well, I honestly wish I could tell you, but I can't. I have amnesia, but I am calling myself 'Diana' for the time being.  


I don't love Brian. I know that. Liz knows that. It seems like the whole world knows that—the whole world, that is, except for Brian.

I really wish that he would stop embarrassing himself. I want to tell him that I don't like him that way, but I don't have the strength to do it. After all that he has done for me, can you blame me?

Brian saved my life. He pulled me from the raging seas and brought me ashore. I owe him so much, and I know that I will never be able to repay my debt.

But my heart is one thing that I just cannot give him. My heart will always belong to my nameless love.

__

And, girl, you leave me breathless  
But it's ok  
'Cause you are my survival  
Now hear me say

I know that my love is gone, and that I should be able to move on. And Brian is a great guy. Honestly, he is. He's loving and caring, but he's not the man for me. Every time I look at him, I can't help but think of the man that I lost. The man who died in my arms.

But my memories of that man keep me alive. If he loved me so fully, so selflessly, maybe there is someone else out there who is looking for me.

Someone else out there who loves me and is missing me.

__

I can't imagine a life without your love  
Even forever don't seem like long enough  


'There has to be someone out there who loves you!' I tell myself. 'Why wouldn't there be?'

I know that there has to be someone out there who loves me. I don't know if I could survive a life without someone's love.

No, not necessarily the love that was shared between me and my true love. I know that that love comes but once in a lifetime.

But I must have some family out there, somewhere who is missing me. There must be someone out there who loves me.

Me. Not Diana, but me.

__

'Cause every time I breathe I take you in  
And my heart beats again  
Baby, I can't help it  
You keep me drowning in your love  
And every time I try to rise above  
I'm swept away by love  
Baby, I can't help it  
You keep me drowning in your love

****

FLASHBACK

"Please, God," he begs. "Please. I love Sheridan so much. I never should have left her. You know that I would have gladly given my life to save hers.

"Please, we just confessed our love. Our love is deep and true—don't take it away from us so quickly. I know that the doctors say that Sheridan will never wake up, but I know that you can make the difference. Please, God. Please, bring Sheridan back to me."

I walk closer, a smile upon my face at hearing him profess his love for me to God and all the angels above.

He hears me move a turns around, a look of shock slowly spreading across his face. "Sh—Sheridan?"

He walks closer, almost unsure as to whether I am real or just an apparition. He touches my arm and my face before pulling me fully into his warm embrace.

"You're really here," he whispers. "You came back to me…"

****

END FLASHBACK

Sheridan. My name is Sheridan. I smile at the memory of my time with him.

"Diana?" Liz asks. "Diana, did you remember something?"

"Sheridan…" I whisper unconsciously. "My name is Sheridan."

"Di—Sheridan, that's great!" Liz exclaims, enveloping me in a hug. Only then do I realize that I've spoken.

"Wh—what?" I ask, coming out of my daze.

"You remembered your name! Sheridan! Oh, I'm so happy for you!"

I glance over at Brian. He has an odd look on his face, almost as if he **didn't** want me to remember my name.

But that can't be. If Brian cares for me like he says he does, why wouldn't he want me to know who I really am? Why?

"So, uh, Diana, I mean, um, Sheridan," Brian begins awkwardly, "are you going to leave then?"

__

Maybe I'm a drifter  
Maybe not  
Cause I am on the safety  
Of floating freely in your arms

His question catches me off-guard. Maybe that's the problem. He might fear my memories because they could tear me away from him. Take away the woman he loves.

But he needs to realize that I will never love him, not the way that he wants me to.

But would I leave? If I remember everything, will I leave these kind people to find those that I have known my entire life? Would I do that to them?

"I—I don't know, Brian. I don't remember enough to leave. Where would I go? I don't know where I'm from. I don't even know my last name!"

"But when you do," he presses, "will you?"

I know I have to give him an honest answer.

"Brian, if I have a family, I will go find them. I need to tell them that I'm alive, that I'm ok. They must be going crazy with worry."

__

I don't need another lifeline  
It's not for me  
Cause only you can save me  
Oh can't you see?

"Sheridan, you don't need them. Me and Liz, we can be your family. We want you to stay here. We want you to stay with us. Right, Liz?" he asks, looking at her with pleading eyes.

"Sheridan, you're welcome to stay here as long as you'd like. I'll support you no matter what you decide to do," Liz replies noncommittally.

Liz just wants me to be happy. That much I know. She was determined to introduce me to Number Nine when he was here. She seemed to think that he was my love.

I wish I could have believed the same thing, but he couldn't be my love. As much as I might want to deny it, my love was dead.

The phone rings. "Sheridan, could you get that for me?" Liz asks as she pours three mugs of coffee.

Obligingly, I pick up the phone. "Sandbourne B & B."

I hear a gasp on the other end of the line. "Sh—Sheridan?"

Who is this man and how does he know my name?

Wordlessly, I crumple to the floor.

__

I can't imagine a life without your love  
And even forever don't seem like long enough  
Cause every time I breathe I take you in  
And my heart beats again  
Baby I can't help it  
I keep on drowning in your love

****

FLASHBACK:

I glance up at the road ahead of me, and, to my surprise, there's a cop car parked in the middle of the road. Immediately, I slam on the brakes, hoping to avoid it. But it's too late.

'Great,' I think. 'My life is already in shambles. What more can go wrong?'

"You try anything else, and I'll use your tired for target practice," a deep, masculine voice informs me.

The officer walks closer and I can hear the irritation in his voice and see it on his face. Great. Now I have to deal with an officer with an attitude.

"Well, I hope you had a good time, buster, because you're about to say good-bye to life as you know it. There is no way your sorry behind isn't doing jail time after moves like that," the officer says as he approaches the car door.

'How dare he!' I fume. 'Doesn't he know who I am?'

"My name's not Buster, my behind is anything **but** sorry, and you can't arrest me!" I proclaim proudly.

He looks at me in disbelief. "You've broken at least 10 laws in the last 5 minutes. Give me one good reason why I shouldn't throw your ass in jail right now."

I stare right back at him. He honestly has no idea who he's dealing with. Well, I'll give him a reason alright. I'll give a reason that will give him nightmares for the rest of his days.

"Because my last name is Crane."

****

END FLASHBACK

My mind is swimming. Crane? Am I really Sheridan Crane?

That's who Liz thought I might be after Brian first found me. But then her fiancé had identified her body. Sheridan Crane was dead.

Or was she? Was it possible that **I** could be Sheridan Crane? Could they have identified the wrong body?

No, it's not possible, I tell myself. Her **fiancé** identified her body. **My** love is dead. It cannot be.

__

And every time I try to rise above  
I'm swept away by love  
Baby I can't help it  
I keep on drowning in your love

****

FLASHBACK:

My love and I are sitting in a beautiful garden that smells of wildflowers in the spring. It is a beautiful day. The birds are singing, the crickets are chirping. It's a perfect day to be in love.

My love takes a deep breath before he begins to speak. "It's no secret why we're here. We both know I'm going to ask you a question, and we both know what it is. Before I do pop the question, I want to tell you why I think that you're the most wonderful woman in the world. I know the life we'll build together will make all our hopes and dreams come true. I've never met anyone like you. I've never wanted to be with a woman as much as I want to be with you. You're everything I could have dreamed for and more—infinitely more. I want to be with you every day, even every minute, and every second. And to make sure that happens, to make sure we're joined together forever, I'm going to ask you a question. A question I hope will be the first step down the road to our happiness."

He moves and kneels before me. "My grandmother told me that when I met the perfect woman, it would be like a phonograph in my head playing my favorite song over and over, and that it would be so beautiful, so perfect, that I'd never want the music to end."

"Do you hear that music now?" I ask softly.

"I guess it was always there. I just had a hard time hearing it because of all the times you crashed into my car, and all the arguments we had. But I hear it loud and clear now. My grandmother was right. I never want the music to end, and there is only one was to make sure the music will never end. Sheridan Crane, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife? Will you marry me?"

"Yes, Luis, I will marry you. Yes, yes, yes!" I cry with joy. I thrown my arms around his neck and envelop him in a soft, loving kiss.

****

END FLASHBACK

'I—I am Sheridan Crane?' I think to myself. 'And I'm engaged? To Luis… But who's Luis?'

Memories flood my brain in my unconscious state. Anxiously, I pray that I was mistaken. I pray that my love **isn't** dead.

And maybe Luis is alive. Maybe my memory of his death was incomplete. Maybe he came back to life, came back to me.

Maybe I will be able to have a life with the man I love.

__

Go on and pull me under,  
Cover me with dreams, yeah  
Love me mouth-to-mouth now  
You know I can't resist  
'Cause you're the air that I breathe

"Liz, is she alright? Does she have a pulse?" I hear Brian say in a panicked voice. "Maybe I should start CPR."

"Brian, relax," Liz replied soothingly. "She's fine. She just fainted for a moment. She'll be right as rain in just a minute."

I try to talk, let them know that I'm better than fine. That my life is perfect.

If Sheridan Crane's fiancé identified her "body," my love **must** be alive. After all, I am Sheridan Crane.

"Are you sure?" Brian worries.

I didn't know how paranoid he was until now. But maybe that's more than paranoia. Could he really love me that much in such little time?

"Brian," I croak hoarsely. "I'm fine."

"Quick, Liz! Get her some water!"

I take a deep breath and sit up. "Don't worry about it, Liz. I'm just fine."

"So? What happened, Sheridan? Did you remember something?"

A smile plays on my lips, revealing the truth. "Yeah, I did, Liz. I'm Sheridan Crane. And I'm engaged to a wonderful man named Luis."

Brian grabs onto the table in disbelief. "No, it can't be. No, not again!"

"Brian, what's wrong?" I ask. "What happened?"

"It's my brother. He's done it again."

__

Every time I breathe I take you in  
And my heart beats again  
Baby, I can't help it  
You keep me drowning in your love  
And every time I try to rise above  
I'm swept away by love  
Baby, I can't help it  
You keep me drowning in your love

"W—wait. Luis is your brother? I—I—what?" I am shocked beyond belief. The man who saved me from the raging seas is related to the man who had saved my life numerous times before?

"Yeah," Brian admits. "My given name is Antonio Brian Lopez-Fitzgerald."

"Antonio…" I mutter to myself, trying to remember where I'd heard the name before.

I gasp as soon as I remember. Brian abandoned Luis and his family after their father left. Brian deprived Luis and the rest of his family from so much.

"Brian, how could you?" I ask in shock. "How could you do that to them? Desert them when they needed you most?"

He sighs regretfully. "Sheridan, there's so much you don't know. So much that I want to tell them—but can't. I gave my word." 

"Brian," I begin earnestly. "Come back with me to Harmony. Please, come back with me. Pilar lights a candle for you and your father every night. They miss you, Brian."

"Sheridan, I—I can't."

I understand how much Brian's word means to him. Luis is the same way, but doesn't he realize that family is more important than anything else is? Doesn't he realize how much his family misses him?

I sigh and reach for the phone on the floor. I need to make plane reservations.

The man on the phone! He knew my name! Maybe he was still on the line.

"Hello? Is anyone there?" I ask frantically.

My reply is simply the dial tone ringing in my ear.

__

Baby, I can't help it  
You keep me drowning in your love  
You've got me drowning  
Baby, I can't help it  
You got me drowning

I'm on a plane heading to Harmony. Despite all of my efforts, I couldn't convince Brian to come with me.

He wanted to come, I could see it in his eyes, yet he stayed in Bermuda.

I remember much of my life now. I am Sheridan Katherine Crane, engaged to the wonderful Officer Luis Lopez-Fitzgerald. The man who will rescue me from my hellish family. The man who is my knight in shining armor.

I step off of the airplane and walk out onto the streets of Harmony. Everything is so quiet, so desolate. Why?

Then I remember. It's Christmas Eve. Much of the town must be at Midnight Mass.

Remembering the previous Christmas and my previous "death," I head to the place where I am certain Luis is. St. Margaret Mary's Church.

__

'Cause every time I breathe I take you in  
And my heart beats again  
Baby, I can't help it  
You keep me drowning in your love

I softly open the oaken doors and enter the sanctuary. I quickly glance over where I met Luis last Christmas. Where I met him the last time I came back from the dead.

I see his dark head bowed before the statue, praying again for my life.

"Please, God, bring Sheridan back to me. Please grant us another miracle. I know that she asked me to move on should anything happen to her, but I honestly don't know how I can. Please, God, don't bring our love to an end. Return her to me."

"Luis," I whisper, walking towards him. "Luis, I'm here."

Slowly, Luis turns, as if he's surely dreaming.

"Sheridan?" he softly replies. "Sheridan? Is that really you?"

"Yes," I murmur as he takes me into his arms. "Yes, it's really me."

He holds me tight, afraid to let me out of his grasp. Afraid that he will wake up and realize that he imagined this whole scene.

But it's real. I'm back with the man I love. The man who loves me more than life itself.

Once he realizes this, he loosens his grasp and stares into my eyes. In his I can see the depth of the loneliness and sadness he has felt these past few months.

I bring his lips to mine to meet in a fiery kiss. A kiss that speaks of the love and passion we feel for each other. A kiss that promises more than 'til death do us part. A kiss that promises that we will be one forever.

__

And every time I try to rise above  
I'm swept away by love  
Baby, I can't help it  
I keep drowning in your love

After mass ends, we head back to the Lopez-Fitzgerald home.

Luis's arm is around my back, as it was throughout the entire mass. I think he's afraid to let me go, fearing that I will disappear in a puff of smoke.

But I'm not complaining.

Pilar fixes hot chocolate for everyone, to warm us up after the walk in the cold night air. It's just as good as I remember. Better even.

There's a knock at the door. Luis and I walk to the door to answer it, and to my surprise, Antonio is standing before us.

"What are you doing here?" I ask.

"I realized you were right, Di—Sheridan. Family is what's important, so I've come home."

"Antonio?" Luis asks, narrowing his eyes. "I knew you looked familiar! I should kill you for abandoning us the way you did!"

He starts to move towards his brother, but I hold him back. "Luis, wait. Listen to what he has to say. Please," I plead. I know how explosive his temper can be, as I've been on the receiving end so many times. But Antonio has so many secrets that we may never learn if we don't let him speak.

"Ok," he acquiesces, but I can see the fury burning in his dark eyes.

"Mijo?" Pilar asks as she walks towards the door. "Who's here?"

When Pilar realizes who is standing on her doorstep, she runs outside to embrace her eldest son. "Antonio, mijo! I knew that you'd return!"

"Mama, I brought you all a Christmas gift. Bring Theresa and Miguel out here while I go get it."

Pilar does as he requests as Antonio walks around the corner. He returns with another person behind him. I wonder who he could have brought as a gift to his family.

"This is…" Antonio begins before being cut off by his mother.

Pilar needs no introduction. "Martin!" she cries happily. "My Martin, you have returned!"

In time, we walk into the living room to listen to where Antonio and Martin have been all these years. Martin begins the story.

"Alistair had planned to kill me because I had discovered some illegal dealings within Crane Industries. Agent Freeman learned about his plan and found me a safe place to live all these years. I regretted leaving you all, but I knew that if I left, I would be able to return in the future."

Antonio continues where his father left off, "One day I was walking home from school when Hal stopped me on the street. He asked to talk to me, and he told me what Alistair had planned for Papa. I wanted to kill him, but Hal offered me a job. I would be an undercover investigator for the FBI, searching for proof to incriminate Alistair and Julian. As Special Agent Brian O'Leary, I posed as a sailor. Wherever I went, I asked around for clues about the underhanded business of the Cranes. I changed my name to avoid being found. I knew that you would do everything in your power to find me, and that would ruin my cover.

"I talked to Hal early this morning, and he told me that we have solid evidence to bring down the Cranes. Meaning that it's now safe for Papa to come home. I know that I can't even begin to make up for all of the problems my leaving caused, but I want to try."

I glance over at Luis and see the tears shining in his eyes. His anger has dissipated. His brother and father have returned. That's all that matters.

Luis stands up and embraces his brother. "Welcome home, Antonio. Welcome home."

Everything has finally come full circle. It was a Crane that split this family apart, but now I, Sheridan Crane, have reunited that which my father strove to destroy all those years ago.

I know now that there are a few truths in our lives today. One being that family comes first.

But the most important truth is that home is where the heart is. Finally, I am home.

****

The End!


End file.
